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A World of Chaos and Disorder

Craziness

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Name
Apez

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May 24th, 2008

New Thoughts

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All through my life I wanted marriage and kids. But recently after thinking and observing I decided I don't ever want to get married. I used to say I will just get married once and that's it but now I don't even want that. I've discovered most couples do not last long-term anymore. And if they do last something probably happen during it. Like cheating for example. Many people cheat now and their significant other forgives them. I personally could not stay with someone who cheated on me if I knew about it. It would make me sick  to my stomach imagining them with someone else. I don't even want to be in a relationship anymore. Everyone tells me you haven't met the right one. Well you know what I've met plenty of people who think they are with the right one and someone new comes along. These are people who are considering marriage. I just can't believe in love anymore. I know people love each other but it's thrown around so easily. I have loved men but I have never been in love with a man.  I just feel nothing is special anymore. Sex is thrown around as easily as love. So, my idea is to become a cat lady. No serious relationships just me. I am the only person who has to stay with me. I know I have friends and family who love me. But everyone eventually gets their own families and contact dwindles. Well that is my rant for now.

December 7th, 2007

Old Entries

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So when I read through old entries I realize how miserable and annoying I was...sorry to those. I hope I have matured alittle bit since those days of high school. But I did notice Ashley was always there to leave me comforting comments as she always has and will be. Love you Suzie!! Haha like that I threw in both names....ah one day I will be able to just call you Suzie.

June 21st, 2007

Well

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It's been over a year since I posted in this...Lets see to sum it up whats changed in the past year. Chris and I are no longer together. That was a long painful route I'd rather not discuss. I am with a new guy. So far things have been great and hope it continues. I graduated with my Bachelor's degree in Psychology. I got a new apartment because I couldn't stand living at home. It was too small and Paul was difficult to deal with sometimes. I am starting a new job as Assistant Program Director aka Assistant Manager for the May Institute. I will be working with adults with MR. Everything seems so different and new.  I have been attending my sister's band's shows. They are amazing and I will now be part of the street team. I don't really know what else to say...I will try to update more often.

April 13th, 2006

Fill it out

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My name:

Who is the love of my life:

Where did we meet:

Take a stab at my middle name:

How long have you known me:

When is the last time that we saw each other:

Do I smoke:

Do I drink:

When is my birthday:

What was your first impression of upon meeting me:

Do I have any siblings:

What's one of my favorite things to do:

Am I funny:

What's my favorite type of music:

What is the best feature about me:

Am I shy or outgoing:

Am I a rebel or do I follow the rules:

Do I have any special talents:

Would you consider me a friend/good friend:

What is a memory we have once had:

Have you ever hugged me:

Have you ever kissed me:

Do you miss me...do you think i miss you:

What is my favorite food:

Have you ever had a crush on me:

If there was one good nickname for me, what would it be:

Who do I like right now:

What is my worst habit:

If you and I were stranded on a deserted island, what one thing would I bring:

Will you repost this so I can do it for you?

April 5th, 2006

Long time

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So, it's been months since I actually updated this thing. Everything is still pretty much the same. I only got two more months before I am out of school for the summer. Speaking of which, my mom is getting married in July pretty crazy?!? I tried on my dress for the wedding, it is so big on me. For spring break I went to Disney with Jenn. We stayed in Kissimmee. It was my birthday gift to myself. I had a good time. We had a crazy shuttle driver and a crazy cab driver on the way back to the airport to go home. Gave us some good laughs however. I decided I am not happy with my job in New Bedford, so during the summer I am going to look for a new school job. I did however turn 21 not too long ago. The two places I got drinks at didn't ID me. Actually, I've only had two drinks since I turned 21. Maybe I need to get a buzz going here. Next year I will be moving into the 21+ apartments with my friend Lyns, my friend Shannon from high school and her friend. Should be a good experience. I will get my own room with a full bed. YAY!! Well thats about all that's really happen so I am out!

January 1st, 2006

Here

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I guess it's time for an actual update. I am home for the month and have gone back to work at RTR. As for the holidays, it wasn't bad. Chris came and met my family on Christmas Eve. That went pretty well they all seemed to like him. He and my cousin Dan got along well. I got to see my two nieces which I only see once a year. I got a good amount of money and a few gifts on Christmas day. On Christmas day I went over to my brothers house, that was pretty good. I got to see my nephew which I don't see much.

Yesterday, I stayed with Chris. He didn't feel too well so we didn't do nothing to much but watch the ball drop. I know I gave him the cold originally I just hope I don't get it back.

I started looking into graduate schools today. I might have to go out of state to get into a good school. We'll see what happens. I think I am going to aim for my PhD in clinical psychology. I can't wait to start working in mu career. Working with the mental ill will be an amazing experience. I don't mind working with special needs for now, but it is not what I want for a career goal.

In other news, my friggin health insurance is getting cancelled in feb. So I have to figure out what I am going to do about that. I did however get my loan for college, which makes me wicked happy. Only a year and a half left and I will have my BA in Psychology.

December 13th, 2005

4X4

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FOUR JOBS YOU'VE HAD IN YOUR LIFE:
1. General Cinemas/AMC
2. Bright Horizons
3. RTR
4. SAIL

FOUR MOVIES YOU COULD WATCH OVER AND OVER:
1. Van Wilder
2. Down with Love
3. Stewie Griffin The Untold Story
4. Queen of the Damned


FOUR CITIES YOU'VE LIVED IN:
1. Weymouth, MA
2. Bridgewater, MA
3. Dartmouth, MA
4. Boston, MA

FOUR TV SHOWS YOU LOVE TO WATCH:
1. Futurama
2. Family Guy
3. Drawn Together
4. Boy Meets World

FOUR PLACES YOU'VE BEEN ON VACATION:
1. California
2. New York
3. Australia
4. Canada

FOUR WEBSITES YOU VISIT DAILY:
1. Myspace
2. Facebook
3. Yahoo
4. livejournal

FOUR OF YOUR ALL-TIME FAVORITE RESTAURANTS:
1. Applebees
2. Unos
3. Olive Garden
4. Pub 99

FOUR OF YOUR FAVORITE FOODS:
1. Pizza
2. Pasta
3. cheese dogs
4. shepards pie

FOUR SCHOOLS YOU'VE ATTENDED:
1. UMass Dartmouth
2. Bridgewater State
3. Norfolk Aggie
4. WJHS

FOUR PLACES I'D RATHER BE RIGHT NOW:
1. Florida
2. Australia
3. California
4. New Hampshire

December 6th, 2005

Quote

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I found this quote to perfectly explain how I feel...

"Friends. A simple word isn't it? It's uttered everyday to almost every person imaginable. Who are your friends? I used to think that friends were the people that you could laugh and talk to. Now I know that friends aren't that, they're the people that touch ur heart. You could spend hours with them doing nothing at all and it can be the best time of your life, just because it was with them. They're the people you can
share your secrets with, cry with, laugh with, and just have fun with. They don't judge you or make you change. They accept you exactly as you are. They look at you and they see a great person, one they love spending time with. You all share something in common and are tied together by memories, tears, laughs and smiles. You're tied together by love for the other. Friendship is the strangest but greatest thing in the world. I find my time with my friends, the best times of my life. My friends are my heart, my soul, my fun, my laughter, tears, love and my life."

November 13th, 2005

(no subject)

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Sometimes I just don't get it. Either I am really stupid or I do something wrong to deserve this shit...
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